Sunday, March 13, 2016

Once Upon a Time - Labor of Love

5.13 "Labor of Love"

I have not been so angry at this show basically ever. I'm so mad I can barely even type. I have been frustrated and annoyed, but I am spitting mad right now.

*deep breath*
Tonight's episode we meet Hercules or, as he prefers, Herc (*gagging noises*) who apparently helped make Snow the super cool archer swaggering around the enchanted forest. Snow was also apparently a very quick study. And now Snow (who no longer wants to be called Mary Margaret (because approximately none of us have called her that since season 1)) has to help "Herc" finish his labors so he can move on to Olympus. Meanwhile poor baby Hook is getting tortured by a very unfunny and non-sassy Hades and Henry is making deals with Cruella.

What I liked:

Seeing Emma Caulfield again as the Hansel and Gretel witch because Emma Caulfield is hilarious.

from here
This exchange between Charming and Snow -
Charming: You...knew Hercules?
Snow: we were friends when we were kids.
Charming: Define friends

Regina trusting Robin so much that she puts Henry's safety in his hands. All the feels.

from here
Hook being his sassy confident self (though looking horrible and making me sad) and learning that he actually heard Emma and is so sure she will come save him <3 I mean when he said, "When you love someone, you know" I was all melty and I just need Emma to save him right now please and thank you and they can go be happy together for a while before the next disaster hits right? I mean, pete's sake, even Rumple got a honeymoon.

What confused me:

How did Snow manage to get out of the palace to run off into the woods without a single guard following her. Seriously the security in these places is so lax it's no wonder people keep dying and evil witches gain control.

Where did Snow get the forest clothes? And why would she think that breaking the bow would help? I mean, wouldn't you need it off in the woods?

What made me angry:

Okay, so I get remixing and adding and retelling. I mean, that's what this show does. And if they want to dive into the world of myth in addition to fable, well, I guess we should have seen this coming.

from here
I was trying to figure out why I was getting so angry, though, and I think I figured it out. Fairy tales have so many different variations that we expect them to be mixed and changed. I mean the Cinderella story has how many variations? But the Greek myths are fairly static - there aren't five different versions of how Heracles defeated the Nemean lion. So for them to change the myth completely rubs the wrong way in a way that the fairy tale remix doesn't.

I mean, repurposing the characters and coming up with new stories I could get behind, but changing the existing stories, like the defeating of the Nemean lion? Not cool.

AND even if you want to stay away from the myths and just consider it in light of the Disney movies, because they were obviously playing that way with the blue Hades hair and *shudders* Megara (but we will get there in a moment) EVEN THEN the choices make no sense at ALL.

For one thing, the casting on Hades might have been pretty good, but the writing for him. No. If you are playing with the Disney Hercules Hades then he should be about a hundred times sassier and maybe he was vindictive, but there is a cold, really dark cruelty to this Hades that just doesn't sit right at all to me.

from here
And finally. Megara. *screams a thousand screams*

I adore Megara in the Hercules movie. She is snarky and sarcastic and puts on a cool, composed bravado even when (especially when) she is afraid. I didn't even know who she was supposed to be until she said her name because this Megara was basically the complete antithesis of that one. This one is snivelling in a corner, runs terrified continually, being very much the completely helpless damsel in distress (did they even remember the line where Meg in the movie pointedly makes fun of this trope!?) *gags* AND even when she gets rescued by Hercules she's sweet and simpering in a way that would have made the real Megara roll her eyes and make gagging noises herself.

I just want to forget this episode ever happened. If you want me I'll be washing my eyes.

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