Once Upon a Time - Only You/An Untold Story

5.22/23 "Only You" & "An Untold Story"

Sorry this is so late! I thought the finale was from 8-10, not 7-9, so I missed the first half and, since I only have antenna and ABC makes you wait 8 days to stream on their website I had to wait to watch it, and then I had a wedding, and then I just felt so incredibly uninspired by the episodes that I haven't really wanted to even write this. BUT here it goes - My last Once Upon a Time recap (yes, I know that the series is continuing with another season, but I have no desire to watch it anymore, even to make fun of it). So to all of those who have followed along with my ranting - thanks for reading! You'll have to tell me if anything absolutely ridiculous happens next season :)

So in this season's finale people get sucked through a portal and trapped. Again. Because why not? Where they meet Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I don't know why I'm surprised that we'd add another world at this point. And Emma decides that the best way to keep Regina safe is to... keep her out of everything? While Henry goes on an impulsive teenage mission to save everyone by destroying magic without thinking through the ramifications. And Rumple runs around chasing power somehow still believing that he's doing it for Belle.

I'm not really sure I understand Henry's sudden (very very very sudden) decision that all magic is evil and must be destroyed? I mean, this is the Henry who was just complaining about not being able to be all heroic and was finally figuring out how to use his gift as the author in a constructive way? Oh, wait. I forgot and was looking for some sort of consistency in the writing. hahahaha.

Ahem.

Henry and Violet are very adorable though. And I really liked getting some quality Henry time in on the story line, even if he was being reckless and heedless.

But. After Henry runs from Storybrooke to New York and Emma and Regina find him in the library, I cannot fathom what on earth would ever make them think that it would be okay to leave Henry and Violet alone in the library and that he would actually listen and stay put? Emma and Regina aren't that stupid, writers. I promise you that.

Side rant: I was really really ticked off that they gave the librarian the line, "people usually just want that YA stuff." First off, I 100% know that tons of people go to libraries for many many many other things than young adult literature. Second, I feel like that was really demeaning and dismissive to young adult literature - as though there is something wrong with wanting to read "YA stuff." That was totally uncalled for and unnecessary to anything related to the plot, story, or anything else.
/rant.

And Henry's speech at the fountain was pretty adorable, too.

Also, did I miss something? How did Henry bring the pen back from the Underworld? Wasn't it destroyed? And if there are all of those other storybooks, then are there other authors floating around? Do they have an author club or Facebook page Henry could join to get some help?

And hasn't Henry heard just a few people on this show talk about doing things for "the greater good" when trying to justify a bad decision? Has he never read Harry Potter?!

I did like the revelation of how much Regina still struggles to keep herself on the good path. It was nice to see her show how much she has changed, because her first instinct now is to stop herself from doing anything evil.

Which is why I'm so angry at how quickly Zelena turned so perfectly good. I mean, Zelena did things just as bad as the Evil Queen. So how is it that Regina has to fight constantly while Zelena is all prancing around being completely trusted 13 seconds after "resolving" her mommy issues? Her easy change completely undermines the real struggles that Regina and even Killian have fought through over the last seasons.

I did like the bonding moments between Regina and Emma and how Regina didn't automatically go all dark because Killian was brought back.

More on Regina in a moment.

There WERE some good quippy lines in this episode.

When Regina and Emma are going after Rumple and Emma says they don't have magic and Regina says, "I still have a fist." and Rumple's response: "Didn't you see the sign?" when they go into the room were delivered hilariously.

I also loved that when they find out people got pulled through a portal, Regina's just like "Again?" with more exasperation than any real surprise.

And when they're talking to Jekyll about why Hyde is bigger and stronger and he says the alter-ego presents itself how the mind perceives it's darker half, I about died laughing when Hook said, "Perhaps next time try an aggressive bunny rabbit."

Speaking of Jekyll and Hyde (rolls eyes so hard I fall over backwards) I'm not sure I understand why there was the big struggle to keep Jekyll from drinking the potion - why did Hyde have to become Hyde first, if the whole point was for them to separate anyway? That made no sense to me whatsoever.

And I really don't understand Hyde's desire to turn Storybrooke into a refuge when that is quite literally (as they explain to us in one of the expository speeches) the purpose of steampunk world - a "place of refuge" for outcasts or runaways from other stories. Oops. Sorry, once again looking for some internal logic to the show.

And finally, Regina's spectacular decision to separate the two halves of herself. Gah.

First of all, Regina uses all of her talents to help people - even the ones she hones as the Evil Queen - how many times has her slyness or her ability to distance herself or even her ability to think like a villain helped to save lives? And the struggle she talks about is basically just called being human.

I understand that she's done horrible things, but all of those things are also what have brought her to where she is now. Henry wouldn't probably exist. She wouldn't have met Robin and enjoyed a brief period of happiness with him at all. She wouldn't be friends with Emma. SO much of Regina's personality is tied up in what she perceives as her evil self. It's Regina's conflict, her remembrance of what she's done, that helps her to be strong and survive and protect those she loves and do the right thing now!

Did anyone else notice her evil self sort of reach back in, like it was going after something inside her? I'm really afraid that Regina will have lost her spark, her self!

And, just throwing this out there, if you've only got one dose of that potion left, wouldn't it have been a better idea to give it to oh I don't know RUMPLE and then kill the dark side and leave the good side who would probably be able to wake Belle? Except that probably wouldn't work. But it seems to me a better idea than Regina taking it.

Of course, I guess we're due for more Regina time rather than more Rumple time, which, if I were watching next season, would probably excite me.

I would like to say that it was pretty obvious that the Evil Queen wasn't going to have been destroyed. I really felt like that was ridiculous and predictable.

One final note - did anyone else notice the extremely obvious placement of the wedding dress between Hook and Emma when they were having their cute moment at the end of the episode? Because I was laughing so hard at it. And wondering if maybe they'll leave them alone just for a little bit next season.

And... there you have it. So. What were your thoughts? Are you intrigued enough to hang on for another season?

And once again, thank you to everyone who's come to read and comment or let me know on Facebook you're reading. You guys are what kept me going this season and I will now have to find a new show to recap next year!

May you all live happily ever after :)

Once Upon a Time - Last Rites

5.21 "Last Rites"

This week one half of a couple decides that power is more important than love and that controlling others is more important than keeping the trust of his significant other. And no, I'm actually not talking about Rumple and Belle (though it continues to be true of them, too). This time it's Hades and Zelena! So Zelena decides that she can believe that Hades has changed despite virtually not knowing him at all and having virtually no evidence to support that change. And Regina decides to trust Zelena and is, shockingly, not wrong? But she loses Robin in the process. Meanwhile Killian tries to move on and has to team up with Arthur in order to take care of his unfinished business.

Okay, so I'm kind of upset over Robin's death. But last week's teaser said the "heart of Storybrooke" died and, even though Robin's a great guy and everything, he's not the heart. Sorry. So I'm glad Henry's not dead, but I feel annoyed by that? I kind of feel, though, that I would have been annoyed no matter who died, because I'm just annoyed with the show in general.

We'll get to my conflicted feelings on Captain Swan in a moment.

I want to know why Zelena is so sure that Hades has changed. His entire line in all the time that he has known her is revenge, revenge, rule the world, revenge, kill everyone who hurt me, rule the world. Of course, the revenge and kill everyone who hurt me parts were Zelena's byline until recently (and I'm really annoyed that she changed so quickly when I think about how hard Regina has had to work and struggle to change and to earn the right to be trusted and Zelena has one hug from Cora and *poof* is all happy go lucky saved and changed?), so I guess I can understand why she wants to trust him. And, of course, in the end she realizes she can't trust him and that Regina does actually have her best interests at heart.

And this was where I knew he was doomed
from here

Robin's death just seemed like a sideline in the midst of the kill Hades story, which is one of the things that annoys me. It just felt completely unnecessary and pointless. Pretty much from the moment he told Regina that she was his future I knew he was doomed. Just because they would need to kill someone off. And, to be honest, though Robin is nice, I never really connected to him and though I liked him with Regina, I rarely felt any real chemistry between them. So the death sort of lost its impact. In fact, I didn't even tear up at the funeral and I am the biggest crier in the world.

Also, just pointing out that basically all Hades and Zelena did was stand around while Hades shot blue light at the broken lightning bolt.

I do love that Belle's father is a florist in Storybrooke - that cracked me up. But I don't understand how Belle's father can give her True Love's Kiss after selling her to Rumple and then getting angry when she fell in love with him and now refusing to wake her? How is any of that love? Much less love strong enough to break a sleeping curse. I mean, if Emma and Killian can't get True Love's Kiss to save his life in the Underworld, then that certainly should not be enough. And why on earth would Rumple think that Belle would ever be okay with him beating up her dad to wake her up. Because it doesn't seem like he's entirely given up on winning her back and I'm pretty sure that would break things even further.

Even at the end Rumple is still all, this is my kingdom mwahaha and running after power while Belle is sleep cursed. Here is where I don't understand people who are still pro Rumple. I am not against people being redeemed, obviously. But it's all based on actions and choices. Regina has consistently made decisions moving in the right direction. It took time and she backslid a lot, but she was making regular progress. Same with Hook and many of the other villains.

But Rumple always - always - chooses power over love, even when his relationship with Belle is on the line. Every. Time. And every episode confirms this. He occasionally makes a good choice or helps someone, but the pattern is selfishness. So how can he ever be a good partner for Belle?

And shouldn't someone have dustbusted Hades up or something? It seems really dangerous to leave a pile of god-dust just laying around.

Arthur is dead! *dances*
One thing I really disliked about the Underworld is the way they let people off the hook for so many things. Like Cora - She shares a tender moment with her daughters and suddenly everything's okay? It sort of counters a lot of the premise of the show. And now Arthur. All the terrible things he did and he's just an okay guy who's going to help bring order to the Underworld?

Okay. So I am really conflicted over the Killian thing.

Honestly, aren't they the cutest!
from here

On the one hand I am SO HAPPY he's back with Emma and their reunion was pretty much the most adorable thing of all time. SO CUTE.

BUT I'm really conflicted about the whole Zeus/Hades thing and that Zeus was happy Hades was destroyed and decided to reward Killian by bringing him back to life? But if Zeus is lord of the dead, how does Zeus have that power? and it's all just so argh! I really wish they had stayed away from the mythology because the whole thing has just made me want to flip tables.

What could possibly happen in the finale next week? I feel like there's no story left for another episode, much less another season. I'm pretty much planning on not watching Season 6, but I have a feeling something is going to happen next week that will suck me into this train wreck again. We shall see.

Once Upon a Time - Firebird

5.20 "Firebird"

I am so done. Put a fork in me I'm done and if the previews for next week are suggesting what I think they're suggesting I will have absolutely zero reason to ever watch another episode. Because I can't.

So tonight they decide that it will suddenly be a good idea to make a bargain with Hades because he's just proved so trustworthy and Regina has decided that a moment with Zelena has suddenly made her super trustworthy. Killian and Emma go off on a quest (sent by Hades) to find ambrosia to save Killian's life and Rumple pulls the old switcheroo on his dear old dad taking another opportunity to choose power and revenge over love and forgiveness.

Look. I know that Regina has changed a lot and been through a lot, but she's also suspicious and realistic so I find it really odd that she would just so wholeheartedly throw her support behind Zelena. I'm not saying distrust her, but she's dating Hades for pete's sake, so maybe hesitate just a moment before sending them off alone with your boyfriend's daughter? I dunno that seems like it would be not the greatest plan especially because there's no proof that Hades isn't planning on stabbing you all in the back.

from here

Also, how on earth can Zelena and Hades, who have known each other approximately 90 seconds, have true love's kiss while Emma's heart is true and she and Killian have consistently and repeatedly sacrificed everything for each other and yet somehow don't get it? That is completely inconsistent and makes me so angry I'm basically spitting.

Also, also, when did the Hades actor get so bad. He was super stilted and awkward tonight.s.

from here

I liked Henry's plan to help people move on by using his author powers. What a great way to use the time while they had to wait. And Cruella as the evil ruler with Emma Caulfield by her side is hilarious.

As for Rumple's little plan to defeat his father. I understand why he wouldn't want Pan coming back. I'm pretty surprised Pan would ever think that would actually happen. What I don't understand at all is why Rumple had to wait so long before doing it. Wouldn't it have made more sense to do it right away so he could make sure that he didn't miss the portal? Or was he behind the plot to keep the heroes locked in the tower. But why? What would he have to gain from that? Basically nothing, right? I don't know. And even if he was behind it, it wouldn't have precluded him from leaving any earlier. It felt like BECAUSE PLOT except there wasn't even a plot reason for that to happen.

Question: Does Emma now wear contacts? Or did she get lasik surgery? Or do they sell contact solution at the Underbrooke pharmacy? These are the really important questions I have.

Okay. Emma and Killian. First of all, how did they not realize that the fire thing was a test. Pretty standard fair people. You'd think they hadn't gone around saving people for the last almost five seasons.

All right, I understand that Hades would trick them and try to keep them there. That's a very Hades move. Though I would have liked some sort of smirk thing when he turned to face the camera right before going through the portal. A little gloating moment. Or something. Unless it wasn't actually him, but I find that highly doubtful. Highly.

from here

I'm guessing that Killian didn't come back up with Emma because he's off to find the magic rock bridge so he can move on? Was that even in the same place though? I'm super confused by that. Couldn't he at least have come to say goodbye?

But also Why. Why on earth would they keep Killian trapped in the Underworld after all of this. Just. Just why. This is how I reacted to Emma getting on the elevator without Killian:

I REFUSE I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE FOR HER TO LOSE HIM LIKE THIS. NO NO NO NO NO. I can't. I'm so done with this show. I am so very done. TRUE LOVE'S KISS SHOULD HAVE SAVED THEM. You know what I am just done. I don't even want to watch it anymore if they can never let Emma ever be happy. First Graham then Neal and now Killian. It's just not. Like I'm so mad I just want to I can't even talk I am so angry right now.

I seriously can't. And if they kill off Henry the way the previews for next week are suggesting, then I will have zero reason to go on with this show.

So, I was super happy with tonight's episode, can't you tell? Check in next week for more angry rants because at least I don't have to suffer in silence.

Once Upon a Time - Sisters

5.19 "Sisters"

Family was the word of the episode. Zelena, Regina (werd how did I never realize they're names rhyme before, seriously I feel like an idiot), and Cora make up while David and James finally have their showdown. And that's pretty much it except PAAANNNNNNN shows up at the end. Oh Pan how we have missed your devious little face.

So, Regina and Zelena as itty bittys were pretty much the most adorable thing (boo that I can't find any pictures of them). But I'm not sure what I think about them having made up. Does this mean Zelena will be on the show more? Will I like her more when she's not just whine whine revenge revenge? And, the better question is will Hades still love the softer more lovable Zelena? Because I seriously doubt it.

from here

I am very conflicted about Cora being able to move on. I mean, she did make up with her girls and gave them back their memories, but think of all the other people she murdered and manipulated and and and yeah. I mean, I'm all for redemption, but it felt sort of cheap? And I know Regina and Zelena made up, but what about all the things Zelena did like pretending to be Marion for example? Can you just forget all of that because of one happy memory? I don't know if I can buy that quick of a turnaround either.

HOWEVER, I would really love it if someone made a parody of the White Christmas "Sisters" song using Zelena and Regina clips.

I'm not a big fan of the Hades/Zelena pairing. I think Hades is just being selfish and manipulative. But I also think that it is in great part because I despise the way they portray Hades - and no it's not because he's not like the Disney's Hercules Hades (though if you're going to nod to that you could get a little closer to it - I feel like the funny writers all left the show this season or something. There has been a serious dearth of witty banter and notable one liners when there used to be multiple clever lines an episode). Mainly I just really don't like the way they've written Hades. It's like the very worst cliched approach to him with virtually no nuance (except maybe him being in love with Zelena which I still kind of doubt). Blah.

from here

In the other family story line James comes after David for REVENGE. Because David ... stole his glory? Even though knowing what we do about James before he died, I doubt he would have won much of anything on his own.

I'm disappointed Emma didn't feel at all suspicious that it wasn't David, though. Lame.

The eagle cry when Cruella pulled up in her car was pretty much the funniest moment of the episode. Okay, I almost forgot - I will give her funniest one-liner of the night: "Why is everything in the woods with you people?"

Emma's face at this was hilarious as well
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WHY does everyone insist on taking the showdowns down to the dock. And really? Did they have to kill of James in EXACTLY the same way they killed off Gaston? I mean, that was just lame (too). And it was all over SO quickly. The secondary storyline didn't get much screen time at all because of how much the Zelena/Cora/Regina story took up. I didn't mind that one getting more time, but it would have been nice for the David/James story to get a little more time - maybe wrapping over into the next episode or something.

And Pan is back! But he and Rumple have no idea all the stuff that just went down with Zelena and Regina and everything. So I'm not sure what all is going to happen there.

The preview for next week makes me scared. Because if they kill off Killian in basically the same way they killed off Neal (and I'm sorry but that preview REALLY made it look like this could be a possibility) I will be so done with this show. I'm already this close to being done with it, but that would just push me over the edge.

Once Upon a Time - Ruby Slippers

5.18 "Ruby Slippers"


In tonight's episode Belle sets out to find a way to save her baby from Hades, Emma and the hero squad look for Auntie Em, and in a flashback to "sometime in the past" (I see that the writers have given up trying to make time work at all) Dorothy and Ruby try to find a way to defeat Zelena. Meanwhile David looks for a way to send Snow home to "chisel-chin Jr." (honestly Cruella has some amazing lines) and Hook comes to the rescue.

Okay, I'll start with the end - Zelena and Hades together? I mean, we saw it coming, so why did Zelena have to dither over it at all? No clue. When Hades comes to her at the beginning and she turns him down again I had to laugh at the way he said he could give her everything while handing her a dead rose. Because, yay, I'm sure she's always wanted one of those.

Hades' revenge on Auntie Em was harsh and when he tells Zelena that he did it only for her is a bunch of hogwash. He gets WAY more out of it like the crushing the spirit of everyone in his realm, ensuring that Emma and her group don't succeed in their current task, and preventing them from easily doing anything else to mess up his world. Plus the bonus of keeping Auntie Em there permanently. But no - he gets absolutely nothing out of it. uh huh. sure.

I'm super happy Belle realized that Rumple isn't her true love, but putting herself under the sleeping curse? I can't tell if that's brilliant or the stupidest thing she's ever done.

from here

Speaking of brilliant/stupid plans, Killian and David's plan to get Snow home fits right in there. I knew that David couldn't go back yet, though, because he hadn't had the confrontation with James. Because we ALL knew that had to happen. I love that David and Killian worked together to figure it out. Now they just have to figure out how to get the names off altogether.

And I would just like to say that I would be more than happy for a David Charming to come into my life anytime now.

Once Upon a Time - Her Handsome Hero

5.17 "Her Handsome Hero"

Tonight Belle has to save a monster from Gaston. And in the flashbacks, shockingly, Belle has to save a monster from Gaston. Meanwhile Emma, Snow, Regina, and Hook have to save ... a monster (but not from Gaston). AND in all three story lines the monster isn't really a monster (well, except arguably Rumple).

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I feel very conflicted by the Gaston story line. I mean, in the end he turns out to be the jerk with evil in his heart (in both the present and flashback), but he's not supposed to be likable, but it does make it more conflicting for Belle that he's not just a jerk. BUT I did figure out why this bothers me so much - it's because Gaston is a Disney creation - he's not based on any character in the original fairy tale. So when they mess with his character, they're messing with their own character for ... no real reason. (I feel the same way about Megara, but she is based on the myth, so I'm feeling differently conflicted over her)

Also this outfit is so gorgeous
from here

The fact that Rumple thought, for even a second, that Belle would agree with him destroying Gaston or using dark magic shows how little he really takes her seriously. And I loved that Belle took her knowledge of Rumple to get control of the dagger. Because she knows that he will kill Gaston if she doesn't intervene. She continually stays true to who she is, to her pure heart, despite her struggle with loving Rumple. And she consistently does so. Even when her baby is at risk, she refuses to make a deal with the devil because she knows it's not the right thing to do. She may be overly idealistic at times, but she's also fiercely intelligent, and usually makes the right decision in the end. tl;dr Belle is the best.

Side note: Every time Hades says "baby" it's the most creepy thing in pretty much the entire underworld. It's like he's going to eat it or something.


When Gaston whines to Belle, "You broke into my locker," he sounds like a peeved eighth grader or something. I'm convinced that Gaston was his own unfinished business. He turns away from the ideals that Belle tried to instill in him, and the book is there to try to remind him of that. His continual turning away from it is what is keeping him in Underbrooke. And his choice to continue to go after Rumple is what led to his own downfall.

from here

It is so great to see Snow finally making sense and acting like a real person again, with hope and persistence.

I am also really grateful that Emma finally expressed her frustrations and that Snow, Regina, and Killian helped her work through it.

from here

Also

WAIT RUBY IS BACK THIS IS THE BEST THING EXCEPT IT MEANS THAT RUBY IS PROBABLY DEAD? I am so conflicted by this because I want to be excited, but I am also sad/scared.

Once Upon a Time - Our Decay

5.16 "Our Decay"

Tonight Hades and Zelena are somehow now a couple? Because... what? and Hades shows his undying love by creating UnderBrooke and stealing her baby and telling her what her birthday is. Because obviously. Meanwhile Belle goes all mama bear and tries to protect baby Hood, is right about Zelena, and finds the truth about Rumple, proving that Belle is always right and should be in way more episodes as a character in her own right. Also, Henry is creating story book pages in his sleep and showing signs that he is an actual author.

from here

Belle is the best. She risked her life to save baby Hood and is the only one to call Zelena out. I loved when she told Zelena, "Nothing good ever came from trusting you," and then actually ran away with the baby. When Zelena says she just wants to feed baby Hood and Robin and Regina give in, Belle is sitting there like, really people? and was firmly in the rights to give a hearty I told you so (though she doesn't).

I was really quite impressed that Rumple came completely clean (though I'm not sure he would have told her about being the Dark One yet if he hadn't slipped up). And I was proud of Belle for saying she couldn't make any decisions right now. Yes, he told the truth now, but he's been hiding the truth about being the Dark One for a while. And can she really be with someone who admits that he loves power that much? Especially when he has, several times, chosen power over family? His description of himself as a better man but not a different one was pretty spot on. He is better than he was before, but his very make-up is the same (something I've been arguing for seasons). The question is whether Belle can live with that.

The thing that annoyed me the most about their interaction, though, was the way Rumple was very condescending and telling Belle how she feels. That just set my teeth on edge. Belle is strong and intelligent. And maybe she's not in love with the power loving Dark One. It will be interesting to see what choice she makes.

As for their baby, I really feel like there must be some loophole in that this baby is only Rumple's. It just seems like that should be a significant issue.

Also, I want this Dorothy outfit

Hades in the flashback was more like the Hades I was hoping we would get. I don't know if I buy his story though - he was laying the compliments on awfully thick. And he's a liar and manipulator, so I'm just not sure he's being honest, though it seems like he is. And I just don't feel sympathy for Zelena, though I think I would love to see a confrontation between her and Cora. Also, I do have to give props to Zelena for giving baby Hood up when she realized she couldn't protect her. However! If she can't trust Hades enough to go with him, why does she trust him enough not to come after the baby? That makes no sense.

And I'm just really annoyed by the True Love's Kiss thing crossing into mythology. I'm just not a fan of the way they are portraying Hades and his backstory. The myths are not fairy tales or fables - they should have a slightly different feel, like the Oz stuff and the Wonderland stuff is different.

Side note: when Hades blew the candles on I had to giggle.

from here

I find it amusing that Henry can't control his gift as the author. But I have to say that his reaction to their criticisms sounds more like a writer thing than a moody teenager thing. I'm pretty sure most writers have wanted to say something like that to "helpful" non-writer friends who always know what they should be writing. I was cracking up at that.

I love Emma Caulfield so much. And how amusing/sad is it that there is this haunting booth? My fear, though, is that by "haunting" Neal, Snow and Charming are embedding themselves further into UnderBrooke. (also Snow's horror at being a "regular in the diner in hell" was pretty funny)

And I'm all for them getting out of UnderBrooke, but I'm not really sure how Snow is proposing they do that. I mean, wasn't the whole purpose of the last two episodes to find out more so you could defeat Hades? Just wanting to isn't really enough (though, to be fair, it has worked more or less in most of their battles against villains).

I'm still waiting for the David/James showdown. And I'm not sure what I think about a Gaston-centric episode.

Once Upon a Time - The Brothers Jones

5.15 "The Brothers Jones"

This week on Once Killian's brother returns to two-face his way back into his brother's life. Meanwhile Henry's feeling stuck on the sidelines again (I can't imagine why he would possibly feel that way /sarcasm) and heads out on a quest of his own, willing to help a villain in order to feel needed.

Something about Liam rubbed me the wrong way from the first moment he showed up on their doorstop. His sanctimonious air just seemed too put on. In the flashback, I thought he was going to give Killian the commission in order to get him away from Silver, but when he ripped up both contracts I knew it wasn't going anywhere good. Because if he really thought Killian couldn't do good without him that's really arrogant and demeaning to Killian. I guess there is some nobility in giving up his own chance in order to stay with his brother, but the way he does it just feels over the top. Whenever someone presents themselves as completely righteous, they're usually covering something up.

And what a doozy. I mean, it's one thing to trade your own soul, but to trade the souls of a whole crew of men just to get your commission? That's outright cold.

I wasn't sure how I felt about Liam gaining closure through sacrifice rather than forgiving himself, but really it's pretty perfect. He hasn't seemed to have a hard time thinking well of himself or excusing his behavior. Liam's problem was putting himself first even in martyring himself. This was a true act of sacrifice where he would gain nothing from it.

And in the process, Hades loses 6 more souls. Which brings me to another question - why did Hades just poof away when Liam's closure came? Is that light magic that he can't stay close to?

We finally get a couple of happy moments with Killian and Emma, though, and Killian seems to have made some peace with himself due to the run in with Liam.
Also, their exchange:
Killian: "Hades sort of knocked the handsome out of me"
Emma: "No one's that powerful"
so adorable.

I can't wait for James and David to meet actually. That will be so fantastic.

As for Henry (by the way I love that Henry can't say Cruella's name. It cracks me up.), I totally get his frustration. I know they're trying to protect him, but he's held his own (and been the key to breaking several curses, etc.) quite well. It's time to let Henry be full on part of the team now, people! And I love that he's figured out how to use the pen in the right way! How brilliant to use it to find out more about Hades.

I was excited about getting more Hades backstory until that last scene. WHY WHY DOES EVERYTHING KEEP COMING BACK TO ZELENA. *sobs incoherently*

Once Upon a Time - Devil's Due

5.14 "Devil's Due"

In tonight's episode Rumple deals with some unfinished business by continuing to prove that he is a power hungry, selfish man who will always do what is in his own best interest no matter who else it might hurt. And I'm not just talking about the flashback. We also finally get the Emma/Killian reunion <3 Meanwhile Regina is dealing with some unfinished business of her own, learning about the meaning of the gravestones in the cemetery and that her first love is at peace.

Definitely a better episode than last week (though almost anything would have been tbh). ahem.

from here

I liked that we got to see more of Milah and understand her perspective a bit more. She can definitely be harsh and I'm not excusing her, but she seemed more relatable and her reasons for leaving Rumple a lot more complex.

One thing I'm not clear on though, is that if Nealfire was her unfinished business and she found out that he's moved on and she's confessed and apologized, why wasn't she able to move on? Why didn't the light appear for her? Or can it only happen in that crevice-y place? And if so, well that just stinks. She didn't deserve that fate. Oh and I'll be coming back to that in a little bit.

Rumple's explanation to Milah about her connection to Emma made me laugh because I hadn't really put those pieces together although I've certainly pondered the very bizarre and twisted family tree connections. But I hadn't realized that Emma had dated Milah's son and ex. Timey-wimey mess.

from here
THIS SCENE. THIS.

I'm so happy Killian is back with Emma, but I'm also concerned over the fact that Hades just let them leave. I realize it's all caught up in the gravestones he didn't carve, but I have a really bad feeling that there is more to Hades' plan than that. (also annoyed with the next preview because for reals can we just let Emma and Killian have a single episode of not being ripped apart or breaking up with each other?)

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Also, how did Emma get Killian back across that tiny little beam that she almost couldn't cross on her own? Or did Rumple just poof them very conveniently?

Regina and Cruella are hilarious together. Underbrooke gave me the biggest laugh of the night I think. And Regina saying good-bye to Daniel made me so happy-sad. Also... yay that Regina has her magic back! Though I wonder if it means she's more connected to Underbrooke now.

No wait. My favorite line of the night was when flashback Rumple told the magic man "I don't know much about deals." That made me laugh right out loud.

I seriously want Belle to be less of a Rumple plot device and more of a character in her own right please. *long sigh*

And Rumple. I want one person to try to defend his treatment of Milah. I am so done with him. I don't want Belle with him. I don't want him anywhere near Henry or Emma or Killian or Snow or David or Regina. He cannot possibly redeem himself. I've been saying this for a while. Rumple is not good. He never has been and he never will be. Just because he occasionally helps someone else out doesn't mean anything, because pretty much every time he's only done it because it also benefits him in some way.

I actually do find this interesting because a big thing on Once is the redeemability of people and the fact that they can change and can turn themselves around. They can become the hero. It's pretty realistic, though, that not everyone would want to be redeemed and I guess Rumple fills that spot. So it's not that I don't want him on the show, but it's driving me crazy that anyone even tries to believe or trust him anymore.

As for that contract I think I might have found a loophole. Of course it depends what was actually agreed on, because we don't get to see the actual bargain being made. But. Wasn't the deal for a child of his and Milah's though? Not just his? When he tells Milah about the deal he says he sold "our" second born. Not "my" second born.

Once Upon a Time - Labor of Love

5.13 "Labor of Love"



I have not been so angry at this show basically ever. I'm so mad I can barely even type. I have been frustrated and annoyed, but I am spitting mad right now.

*deep breath*
Tonight's episode we meet Hercules or, as he prefers, Herc (*gagging noises*) who apparently helped make Snow the super cool archer swaggering around the enchanted forest. Snow was also apparently a very quick study. And now Snow (who no longer wants to be called Mary Margaret (because approximately none of us have called her that since season 1)) has to help "Herc" finish his labors so he can move on to Olympus. Meanwhile poor baby Hook is getting tortured by a very unfunny and non-sassy Hades and Henry is making deals with Cruella.

What I liked:

Seeing Emma Caulfield again as the Hansel and Gretel witch because Emma Caulfield is hilarious.

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This exchange between Charming and Snow -
Charming: You...knew Hercules?
Snow: we were friends when we were kids.
Charming: Define friends
HA

Regina trusting Robin so much that she puts Henry's safety in his hands. All the feels.

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Hook being his sassy confident self (though looking horrible and making me sad) and learning that he actually heard Emma and is so sure she will come save him <3 I mean when he said, "When you love someone, you know" I was all melty and I just need Emma to save him right now please and thank you and they can go be happy together for a while before the next disaster hits right? I mean, pete's sake, even Rumple got a honeymoon.

What confused me:

How did Snow manage to get out of the palace to run off into the woods without a single guard following her. Seriously the security in these places is so lax it's no wonder people keep dying and evil witches gain control.

Where did Snow get the forest clothes? And why would she think that breaking the bow would help? I mean, wouldn't you need it off in the woods?

What made me angry:

Okay, so I get remixing and adding and retelling. I mean, that's what this show does. And if they want to dive into the world of myth in addition to fable, well, I guess we should have seen this coming.

from here

I was trying to figure out why I was getting so angry, though, and I think I figured it out. Fairy tales have so many different variations that we expect them to be mixed and changed. I mean the Cinderella story has how many variations? But the Greek myths are fairly static - there aren't five different versions of how Heracles defeated the Nemean lion. So for them to change the myth completely rubs the wrong way in a way that the fairy tale remix doesn't.

I mean, repurposing the characters and coming up with new stories I could get behind, but changing the existing stories, like the defeating of the Nemean lion? Not cool.

AND even if you want to stay away from the myths and just consider it in light of the Disney movies, because they were obviously playing that way with the blue Hades hair and *shudders* Megara (but we will get there in a moment) EVEN THEN the choices make no sense at ALL.

For one thing, the casting on Hades might have been pretty good, but the writing for him. No. If you are playing with the Disney Hercules Hades then he should be about a hundred times sassier and maybe he was vindictive, but there is a cold, really dark cruelty to this Hades that just doesn't sit right at all to me.

from here

And finally. Megara. *screams a thousand screams*

I adore Megara in the Hercules movie. She is snarky and sarcastic and puts on a cool, composed bravado even when (especially when) she is afraid. I didn't even know who she was supposed to be until she said her name because this Megara was basically the complete antithesis of that one. This one is snivelling in a corner, runs terrified continually, being very much the completely helpless damsel in distress (did they even remember the line where Meg in the movie pointedly makes fun of this trope!?) *gags* AND even when she gets rescued by Hercules she's sweet and simpering in a way that would have made the real Megara roll her eyes and make gagging noises herself.

I just want to forget this episode ever happened. If you want me I'll be washing my eyes.

Once Upon a Time - Souls of the Departed

5.12 "Souls of the Departed"

After our long hiatus we are back in the land of fairy tales and ridiculousness! Let's dive right into tonight's episode.

Tonight our intrepid travelers made their way into the Underworld where we, fortunately, find that not everyone will be there. Unfortunately, the people who will be there are people with unfinished business, which means that people we won't want to see are more likely to pop up. A flashback shows us more about Regina's battle with Cora as Regina in the present has to face up to what she did to her father. Rumple stomps around making vague threats to leave while not actually doing so, and Snow gets kissed by David's evil twin.

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I was so happy to see Neal and to learn that he's not in the Underworld. That was purely there for the fans and I am so grateful that they put it in. However, I didn't understand why Emma didn't explain about Neal to Henry the first time he talked about it.

I was a bit surprised to get the Regina flashback and I'm really super confused about the timeline on things. I guess I haven't paid close enough attention. Part of me is curious as to Cora's story, but most of me doesn't care, especially if it means the return of Zelena.

ALL the tears
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It was nice to see Regina 1) make the right choice based on the living people in her life 2) get some closure with her father 3) get to introduce Henry to Henry.

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Having James back will be interesting, but mostly because I love when the actors get to branch out and play different characters. I was also pleased to see Pan again because I think that actor did such a great job. I am nervous about what Pan is expecting from Rumple and how long Rumple will last before turning against them. I also thought he was going to leave - didn't he say he'd meet them at the boat? - but then he was still there making more vague threats. He promised to help find Hook and hasn't done that yet, so I wonder if that is holding him there.

And can we just talk for a minute about the way
Regina and Robin were so quick to protect Henry
And how Henry just trusted them and clung to them
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I want to know why the potion didn't work completely for Hook. Is it because of where and how he is trapped? I thought it was the potion, but then Regina used it on her father's grave, so that doesn't seem to hold water. Also, though, if they still had more potion left, why didn't they try AGAIN?

And was anyone else creeped out by pervy Jiminy Cricket crawling around in Snow's dress?

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And finally, Hades? Really? I mean I guess I should have seen that coming. The funny thing is that I thought the guy looked familiar, but it wasn't until the blue flame that I realized who he reminded me of and once again the casting is eerily well done.

I'm not sure what I think about the introduction of the myths into this fairy tale world though. I mean, obviously the movie Hercules is a Disney movie, but the Disney Hercules isn't exactly like the actual mythical Heracles and it looks like they're going to be bringing in Cerberus and maybe other things? I'm not sure about it.

Also, if they really try to run around and save all of the people in limbo ... let's just say that's going to get really old really quickly.